Dan Theal:
Q: Worse Princeton offense so far this season, the Tigers or the Lakers?
A: Oh boy! I was hoping that I would one day have the opportunity to take this blog to NBA school.
Just imagine for a second...
Considering the players from the past decade in the NBA, let's hypothetically place the following players on the court at the same time:
The best point guard + the best shooting guard + the best center + a top 5 power forward + the most suspended player at any position. What you will end up with is a team that closely resembles the current Lakers squad.
Now using those same players, let's design an offense that freely rotates the guards and forwards within the half-court, relying on a slow-developing but efficient use of passes to create and exploit mismatches. What you will end up with is a coach looking for a new job that closely resembles Mike Brown.
The Princeton offense does have its place for certain teams that do not have 32 combined all-star appearances in their starting lineup. With the personalities and egos of the Lakers, you have plenty of mouths to feed and only 48 minutes to do it. Mike D'Antoni's high-tempo offense will suit them well and perhaps he can orchestrate a trade to take his son Amare Stoudemire off the Knicks payroll.
Back to the current Princeton Tigers, who actually don't use a prototypical Princeton Offense, but instead use a "Drain The Clock And Jack A Three Offense". I call it the "Keep Your Opponent Close But Still Lose Offense" for short. Three games into the season, the Tigers have shot a stunning 46% of their attempts from beyond the arc. With a 29% conversion rate, you may consider them one of the top offensive juggernauts of the Ivy League. Unfortunately, Syracuse is in a different league and shooting 29% from deep will not get it done at the Dome.
Syracuse will have to mark Will Barrett and Clay Wilson, who have combined to average 6 triples per game, albeit on several wasted attempts. Their offense will flow through Senior forward Ian Hummer, who has averaged 16 points, 6 rebounds and 6 assists while being the only player on the team who has realized through his four years of prestigious higher education that a 2 can be better than a 3.
Princeton will keep the possessions low, but the Orange fans will still get their tacos. Final score: Cuse 75, Princeton 52
Tim Schuldt:
Q: Fact: The Bills are going to finish 7-9
Fact: They will do so either by (a) winning their next 3 games and setting up the old rope-a-dope on their fans, before ultimately pulling the rug out from underneath them and losing their final 3 games or (b) losing the next 2 games to eliminate any shot of the playoffs, before infuriating their fans by winning 3 of the final 4 game to ruin their draft spot
This means the Bills have a 50/50 shot against the Colts. Nervous?
A:
Very. I haven’t been this nervous since you and I…well, never mind.
The Colts are coming off an embarrassing loss to the Patriots where they were made to look stupid in all aspects of the game. I wasn’t expecting them to win this game, but I was expecting it to be closer than it actually was. Andrew Luck looked terrible, there was no presence of a running game, and the defense looked like they were trying to tackle the greased-up deaf guy from Family Guy all game.
The Bills are coming off a home win, and have had a few extra days of rest giving they played last Thursday. They didn’t look exceptional at all either, but they did have a big punt return early that sparked some momentum and their defense shut down a usually prolific running game. I’m sure that they have some confidence going into this week…especially since they are 3-0 in their last few games against the Colts.
As far as Cuse goes, Syracuse 71, Princeton 54
Jason Schwartz:
Q: Suppose DaJuan Coleman finds himself at the Woodcliff Thanksgiving Buffet. What's on his plate? (Courtesy of Steve Schirmer)
A: I was going to go literal here, but unfortunately the Woodcliff decided not to publish their Thanksgiving Day buffet menu online, leaving me only to guess what would be available. I can only assume this is so they can offer Monday's leftover seafood surprise and charge $75 for it.
Anyways, DaJuan has really reigned in his eating habits since back in his high school days. He's down to a svelte 275 lbs these days and looking to keep it that way. So I'd have to assume his plate would be filled only with turkey (lean white meat, sans skin), green beans (steamed, no fried onions on top), a baked sweet potato, homemade applesauce, and a sliver of pumpkin pie.
Unfortunately, I've heard rumors that the Woodcliff just had some budget cuts and had to let go of their sports package, meaning they will be left with nothing to broadcast Thanksgiving Day but a replay of the Syracuse-Wagner game on Time Warner Sports Network.
After seeing the horrific performance he put forth that Sunday afternoon, Coleman will be driven back to the buffet line in a confused state similar to Sasquatch from the Jack Links commercials. In a blind fit of rage he will pile stacks on stacks of medieval sized dark-meat turkey legs, Rocky Mountain-sized ranges of mashed potatoes smothered in rivers of gravy, enough pecan pies to feed his local food pantry, and just for good measure a homewrecker burrito from Moe's for the ride back to Syracuse.
I kid, I kid. I mean, this isn't Josh Smith or JaMarcus Russell we're talking about here. I predict he'll finally find his stride against Princeton, to the tune of 10 points and 8 rebounds (or else I'll be wolfing down a spread similar to the one described above...)
Syracuse 69, Princeton 52
Steve Schirmer:
(Ed. Note: Steve Schirmer gets the cleanup spot this week over myself. Why you ask? Isn't this your blog? You should get to go last every week, screw those other schmucks. Well, in the words of the immortal T.J. Lavin, Steve Schirmer absolutely killed it this week.)
Q: Trevor Cooney had 6 steals, made a three-pointer on a pass he didn't catch cleanly, and provided approximately 325,283 hustle plays. Pontificate...
A: Pontificate? I believe the word you're looking for is TESTIFY! Cue the organ music sister!
Syracuse 73, Princeton 60
Enjoy the game and have a safe, happy, and filling holiday everyone!
Jason Schwartz:
Q: Suppose DaJuan Coleman finds himself at the Woodcliff Thanksgiving Buffet. What's on his plate? (Courtesy of Steve Schirmer)
A: I was going to go literal here, but unfortunately the Woodcliff decided not to publish their Thanksgiving Day buffet menu online, leaving me only to guess what would be available. I can only assume this is so they can offer Monday's leftover seafood surprise and charge $75 for it.
Anyways, DaJuan has really reigned in his eating habits since back in his high school days. He's down to a svelte 275 lbs these days and looking to keep it that way. So I'd have to assume his plate would be filled only with turkey (lean white meat, sans skin), green beans (steamed, no fried onions on top), a baked sweet potato, homemade applesauce, and a sliver of pumpkin pie.
Unfortunately, I've heard rumors that the Woodcliff just had some budget cuts and had to let go of their sports package, meaning they will be left with nothing to broadcast Thanksgiving Day but a replay of the Syracuse-Wagner game on Time Warner Sports Network.
After seeing the horrific performance he put forth that Sunday afternoon, Coleman will be driven back to the buffet line in a confused state similar to Sasquatch from the Jack Links commercials. In a blind fit of rage he will pile stacks on stacks of medieval sized dark-meat turkey legs, Rocky Mountain-sized ranges of mashed potatoes smothered in rivers of gravy, enough pecan pies to feed his local food pantry, and just for good measure a homewrecker burrito from Moe's for the ride back to Syracuse.
I kid, I kid. I mean, this isn't Josh Smith or JaMarcus Russell we're talking about here. I predict he'll finally find his stride against Princeton, to the tune of 10 points and 8 rebounds (or else I'll be wolfing down a spread similar to the one described above...)
Syracuse 69, Princeton 52
Steve Schirmer:
(Ed. Note: Steve Schirmer gets the cleanup spot this week over myself. Why you ask? Isn't this your blog? You should get to go last every week, screw those other schmucks. Well, in the words of the immortal T.J. Lavin, Steve Schirmer absolutely killed it this week.)
Q: Trevor Cooney had 6 steals, made a three-pointer on a pass he didn't catch cleanly, and provided approximately 325,283 hustle plays. Pontificate...
A: Pontificate? I believe the word you're looking for is TESTIFY! Cue the organ music sister!
And now, a reading from The Trichians:
Trevor Cooney said to his disciples: Behold my prowess beyond the Great Arc! For it is he who must compose thyself in the face of wild and inaccurate receptions from kick-outs in the paint. The path towards attainment of Triple Salvation is not always straight and clear, though we must still overcome! Those who walk among the blessed remain steadfast on the mission at hand, as they shall never waiver to gather thyself, set their feet and hoist the Stone into the heavens, only to be touched with nothing but net.
But lest you not forget that strong Triple Powers are worshiped by many of false gods, including the pagan Caliparians and Pitinos. For it is the one true god, The Great Boeheimian, who most graciously devotes minutes only to those who comprehend his Creation: The Zone.
Many of Orange lore, including the Archangels Donte and Devo, have thrived beyond the Great Arc only to still reek rapture on Syracuse seasons by inadequate and lazy Zone Rotations. Though blessed by superior athletic ability and god graced talent, it is these heretics who your brethren fans most vehemently curse when recalling failed Syracuse Odyssey's of past.
Even I, my brothers, found myself alone and hopelessly out of position one time against Wagner. For I allowed Kenneth Ortiz to blow by me and penetrate the most vulnerable area of his Creation, only to allow the Stone to be kicked out to a wide open Latief Rogers.
But I did not fall to temptations of resignation, like the Archangels Donte and Devo before me. I anticipated the pass to the left wing, sprinted from the right elbow, and met my adversary head on! And as I struck down his attempt from the Sacred Bowl, did I let out a howl to the heavens and allow my opponent to recover? Never! With all the strength left in my body, I dove for the loose Stone, tipped it to a streaking St. Michael, who took the Stone home to the promised land as our brethren fans erupted in satisfaction.
This is the path to Orange Legend, my brothers! Follow me until March, and we shall dine on luscious Georgia Peaches as our One Shining Moment is donned.
The Word of the Lord! Thanks be to Boehemian.
Syracuse 73, Princeton 60
Enjoy the game and have a safe, happy, and filling holiday everyone!
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